"You are beautiful"
Then why do I feel ugly?
"You look so good today"
So was I ugly all this time?
"I am jealous of your looks"
You are lying, aren't you?
Throughout my life I have always struggled with accepting compliments.
How could I accept them?
How could I believe I am pretty when all I feel when I see myself is pure disgust?
How could I believe I am worthy when all my life I have been told the opposite?
I used to look very different to how I look like now and hence get treated differently as well-
From being the girl who would always get picked on for her looks
To a girl who keeps receiving compliments over her looks
I have lost a lot of weight
I have started applying makeup
I have started putting effort in my outfits
Yet I feel the same way about myself
No, That is a lie.
I actually feel much more worse.
Will my self hatred ever go away?
Probably
Probably not
Why do I feel so much love towards everyone but myself?
Maybe it is because I know myself and my flaws far more than I know anyone else's.
The mirror is a lie
The face I put on is a lie
Everything about me is a lie
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